I waited.
“I’d really like something simple.”
“What?”
“Just to go swimming.”
I stared at him.
He immediately added:
“It doesn’t have to be far.”
“And it doesn’t have to cost much.”
“We can come home early if Lily gets tired.”
His words broke my heart.
My ten-year-old son was negotiating for permission to be a child.
I looked at him.
“When was the last time we did something fun?”
He shrugged.
“I don’t know.”
I did.
Before Michael died.
Months earlier.
I had become so consumed by grief that I had forgotten Noah was grieving
too.
He needed more than a quiet house.
He needed sunlight.
Water.
Noise.
Laughter.
He needed one afternoon that did not revolve around death.
I reached for my phone.
“Let’s find somewhere to swim.”
His face changed instantly.
“Really?”
“Really.”
We found day passes to the Harbor Palms Hotel.
It was about forty minutes outside the city.
The hotel had a large outdoor pool.
A shallow children’s area.
Umbrellas.
A small café.
Nothing extraordinary.
To Noah, it looked like paradise.
We went three days later.
He packed his own towel the night before.
He reminded me twice about sunscreen.
That morning, I almost canceled.
Grief had made leaving the house feel dangerous.
Every unfamiliar place required energy.
Every cheerful family reminded me of Michael.
But Noah came downstairs wearing his swim trunks.
He was smiling.
I could not take that smile away.
So we went.
The drive was easier than expected.
Lily slept.
Noah controlled the music.
He chose songs Michael used to complain about.
For the first time in months, I laughed.
Noah looked at me.
“You laughed.”
I stopped.
“So?”
“You haven’t done that in a while.”
The sentence stayed with me.
At the hotel, the pool sparkled under the sun.
Children splashed.
Parents sat beneath umbrellas.
Music played softly.
Noah ran toward the water.
Then stopped.
He turned around.
“Can I?”
I smiled.
“Go.”
He jumped in.
I sat beneath an umbrella with Lily.
For two hours, life felt almost normal.
Noah swam.
He made friends with another boy.
They competed to see who could stay underwater longer.
I ordered fries.
