THEN MOM TOLD ME ABOUT THE PROMISE I NEVER KNEW EXISTED
“I was falling apart.”
She looked ashamed.
“Your dad had left.”
“You barely talked to me.”
“And Ethan was the only person who still seemed able to reach you.”
“What did you do?”
“I asked him to promise me something.”
My stomach tightened.
“What?”
“To keep looking after you.”
I stared.
“You asked Ethan to take care of me?”
“Yes.”
“Mom…”
“I know.”
She wiped another tear.
“I was scared.”
“And he?”
“He just said…”
She smiled weakly.
“‘Okay.’”
Of course he had.
BUT THAT WASN’T THE SECRET SHE WAS ASHAMED OF
Mom looked toward the floor.
“For six years, I misunderstood your friendship.”
I frowned.
“How?”
“Whenever you defended Ethan…”
“Changed plans because somebody excluded him…”
“Waited for him…”
“Helped him…”
Her mouth trembled.
“I wondered whether you were sacrificing too much.”
I went still.
“I kept thinking you felt responsible for him.”
“Because he has Down syndrome?”
She closed her eyes.
“Yes.”
That hurt.
But she kept talking.
“I spent six years measuring what Ethan might need from you.”
Then she looked at me.
“I never stopped to measure everything he gives you.”
Suddenly—
six years replayed differently.
Ice cream after my driving test.
The dinosaur drawing.
Lunches when I couldn’t speak.
My porch after heartbreak.
Prom.
Ethan had never needed me to carry him through life.
Neither of us was carrying the other.
We simply kept showing up.
“SO WHAT’S THE CONDITION?”
Mom smiled through tears.
“Don’t go to prom because six-year-old Sophie promised Ethan.”
I blinked.
“Promise me you’ll go because eighteen-year-old Sophie chooses him.”
I laughed.
“Mom.”
“What?”
“I was never going because of a childhood promise.”
She smiled.
“I know that now.”
“The promise is why Ethan purchased a bow tie in November.”
That finally made her laugh.
